Posted by: Allie Ulrich | November 1, 2010

cranky pants.

when i’m well rested and low stress, dieting seems like a snap. baby carrots look appetizing. 90 minute yoga classes sound relaxing and fun. who needs those spanx anyway? the problem here being (and the reason i’m not yet a svelte 125 lbs), that I AM NEVER WELL RESTED AND LOW STRESS. seriously, NEVER. i sort of hate sleeping (it feels nice enough, but it robs me of precious time to be doing things that are fun and productive!) which doesn’t help, and i’m also the most chronically overextended person that i know. i actually really love my life the way it is, but occasionally things will start to unravel a bit and  i do get the dreaded CRANKY PANTS.

the cranky pants are hazardous both to me, and all innocent victims within a 20 foot radius of my grump sphere. yesterday, i picked no fewer than 3 separate fights with my poor sweet boyfriend before he was able to usher me into the full belly deli and put out the crank fire with veggie reuben and a dr. brown’s cream soda.

for some reason, the only thing that can cure the cranky pants, is a large quantity of garbage food. i get so agitated, that i need to medicate myself with cheese and butter. it’s the point of no return. no amount of deep breathing and walks around the block will keep me from experiencing certain disaster.  when i have the cranky pants, don’t you even tell me to have a stick of gum or an apple. I WILL CUT YOU! i will cut you, and then i will go eat an entire stuffed crust pizza in one sitting.

because of the inevitable diet destruction that comes with the cranky pants, and the lack of recourse that i have against it, there is only one real option: STOP GETTING THE CRANKY PANTS. i need to make a commitment to myself to do the following things:

1. get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. sure, 8 -9 is ideal, but when i’m averaging 4-5, 7 would be totally servicable.

2. i need to learn to say NO. as of this moment in time, my schedule is full. probably too full, but no more projects, guest blog posts, performances- NOTHING.

when it comes to losing weight, it really goes beyond diet and exercise. even though those are the things that physically cause us to shed the fat (and at this point, we probably all know what we should be eating and doing), it’s really the things that keep us from adhering to our diet and exercise plans that need the real work.

back up to 162 as of this morning, and i can’t let a couple of crabby days keep me from my goals. and if i do happen to put on my cranky pants again- i should eat the reuben, but skip the potato chips, soda, and candy bar that come with it. for my next trick, figuring out how to put the brakes on after one bad choice, so that it doesn’t turn into a 4 day binge.

do you have a bad habit that sabotages your eating?


  1. Not being prepared does it for me. I need to bring my lunch to work and I need to have dinner planned. If I don’t, forget it. Exercise is another category for me altogether. I do subscribe to “just do it”, because if I wait until I “feel like it” that will be never. In my heart, I subscribe to “Never stand when you can sit; never sit when you can lie down”. In their entire lives (they are now in their late 80’s) I never saw either of my parents run or swim. Not even a jog across the lawn to grab a kid threatening to run into the street. Never broke a sweat, not ever. So, moving my body does not come naturally to me.

  2. Sometimes I have the Gung-ho attitude and can be undermined by a gummy bear…okay a bag of them (mmmmm, gummy bears). It’s almost as if the logical brain is always overruled by the I want pizza NOW side of the brain. (who’s really driving, Jeckyll or Hyde?)

    What hasn’t been working for me: Not being prepared (nods to Evelyn), but also not eating small snackish meals throughout the day, then being HUNGRY at any given meal time and making poor choices because my appetite has kicked in. Eating prior to appetite kicking in is integral for me, otherwise I will choose Pizza (maybe covered in gummy bears)

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