remember that late night infomercial for “litter kwitter“? you know, the one where you teach your cat to use the toilet? well, i don’t need that. what i do need, is a new kind of infomercial system called “quitter kwitter”. i’m not sure if it will involve graduated toilet seat rings or what, but i need some sort of “as seen on tv” solution to the problem i have with quitting.
yeah, even after a week on the g-string diet (and i didn’t even wear the g-string, because the midsection was still looking EXTRA SLOPPY [yes this is a real picture of me] and even the boyfriend agreed that it was a poor decision), i jumped off that wagon with both feet- directly into a vat full of butter and cheetos. i weighed in at an unsatisfactory 162.8 on friday morning, but i’m sure i’ll be back up to 165 in no time the way i’ve been shoveling in the crap. i actually heard myself utter the words “why don’t we smear some nutella on those shortbread cookies?” the other night. it’s exactly like being possessed by the devil (who i imagine to be a chunky fellow).
but yeah, when it comes to eating and exercise, i’m the queen of calling it quits. sure, losing weight would be awesome- but i’d also like to figure out why i’m so easy to give in to my cravings. in so many other ways in my life i am a strong, dedicated, person who knows how to play through the pain. but then as soon as someone waves mozzarella stick within a 10 foot radius, my resolve crumbles into a thousand tiny pieces.
as with most mondays, tomorrow i will dust off the cheez crumbs and try again. nothing outrageous or overly restrictive, just 1600-1800 calories of food that isn’t partially hydrogenated or made out of anything remotely resembling jet fuel. and maybe i’ll remember this time (maybe) when the stomach grumbles settle in and i start feeling extra pitiful and sorry for myself… to put a goddamn jersey on and SUCK IT UP and KEEP GOING. there is no magic pill, putty, or magic jack that can help me now. billy mays is dead, and shamwow vince… well, he can’t even help himself. i’m on my own. LET’S DO THIS!
being bess marvin. 
a few things that you’ve probably heard, but really do work.
1. don’t focus on the scale. set positive goals, like “run x miles/hours per week”, instead of negative “don’t do x” or “lose x pounds/inches”. if you need a way to measure the bodily changes, your measurements or a certain piece of clothing are much better than the scale. do NOT weigh/measure yourself more than once a week. pick a day and stick to it. if you’re going to a gym, ditch your home scale entirely and just use theirs. it’s more precise and you won’t be tempted to weigh yourself “just to see”.
2. eat a little, lots of times. really break your eating up into 6 smaller meals/snacks, instead of the 3 big ones. it can be hard to do that with certain jobs/schedules, but planning ahead is the key. if you have a way to keep food at work, pre-pack your snacks for the week and take them on monday. put sliced apples in the fridge and keep some peanut or almond butter in your desk drawer. half an apple dipped in that is a good, high protein snack.
and something most “experts” don’t emphasize. any movement that you love and WANT to do is better than something you don’t like. find an activity that gets you moving and that you really enjoy. for MOST people, this does not include running on a treadmill, but might include a zumba class, or tennis lessons at the Y. the goal is to be healthy, not skinny, and you’re much more likely to be healthy if you enjoy your activities and don’t really think of them as “working out”. no one likes “work”.
if you have some time, i’d highly suggest reading some blogs that talk about Health At Every Size/HAES. it’s all about getting in touch with your own body and learning what works for YOU. if you can maintain a model size without constant dieting and extreme working out, then that’s fine. but most of us can’t and spend a LOT of time and effort trying to force out bodies into molds that weren’t made for them. i’m still not 100% “There” with accepting this for myself, but reading those blogs has helped a LOT. they’ve shone a light on some BS “science”, like the BMI scale, and helped me really understand that weight/size does not necessarily correlate with health.
By: InfamousQBert on March 15, 2011
at 6:32 pm
Your blog makes me feel less alone in weight struggles! I’m the same weight. It’s hard for me because I simply refuse to go up another size considering last year I had to give away all my size fours because they JUST wouldn’t fit. I’ve really gained a lot in these past three years and the weight gain hasn’t slowed down. So now I need to do something about it….oooohhh man. Anyways, thanks 🙂
By: kineticallyme on May 28, 2011
at 10:49 pm