the day before a diet is decadent & depraved.

i haven’t weighed myself in over a month. for a while there, i was doing ok. going to yoga… eating more vegetables… but then something snapped in me, and for the last month i’ve been eating pretty much nothing but starch, cheese, and butter (and various combinations thereof).

even though i wasn’t trying very hard, at some point, i just decided that i was tired of trying at all. and then i proceeded to eat heavily buttered popcorn witch cheddar cheese for dinner for a week straight. i could feel my pants tightening, and lost my ability to find a flattering double-chinless angle when looking in the mirror. i could no longer deny my swiftly creeping fatness, but i was also feeling extremely apathetic about stopping it.

then (ironically, over crepes), a dear friend who is also waging her own diet battle, suggested we become accountable to each other. THANK GOD. the cornerstone of a successful diet is the guilt and shame that comes with having to tell another person that you ate an entire stick of butter. that’s why weight watchers works so well. i signed on to the cindy plan immediately. well… starting monday.

this means that yesterday, i ate the following for dinner: 1 large grape slurpee, 1 venti black iced tea lemonade, one cheddar bagel twist, 1 box of toffee flavor crunch ‘n’ much, 1 cheesy filled soft pretzel, 1 ritter sport (the butter biscuit variety), 1 cheese & mayo sandwich, 1 slice heavily buttered bread, 1 betty crocker “warm delights” caramel cake, and a fistful of edamame chips. because my brain firmly believes that when i tell it we’re going on a diet, this means it will never eat good food again. ever. (even though my new plan has a binge meal factored in).

needless to say, i woke up this morning a salt and heat bloated 169.4 pounds. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

whilst eating said junk foodables, i was at least actually making some real food an portioning it out in tidy packages so that i have no excuses this week.

i made: spicy black bean & quinoa salad, roasted brussels sprouts, cole slaw, marinated mushrooms (for grilled mushroom wraps), and hard boiled eggs. i get 1,500 a day.

BRING IT*.

*and cindy, feel free to publicly smack talk me for any and all sub-standard efforts.